Let’s hear it for counter-programming. Starbucks made good on last year’s Plenta threat this week, announcing a new beverage size that targets the gluttony market, called the Trenta. As in Godzilla vs. the Trenta. Taking advantage of a news lull, Starbucks’ press onslaught has the media lapping it up. So naturally, we’re going to talk about the return of Citizen Cake.

This is the long-awaited revival of Elizabeth Falkner’s since-defunct Hayes Valley original namesake shop. Opening in November 2010 on the spot of the former Vivande Porta Via, it’s decorated with a lot of black-painted wood with red highlights. Inside there’s a bar with stool seating and a number of black wooden tables and booths for more formal dining. However, the pastries are, not surprisingly, showcased in front.

The staff here are, well, rather quirky — even by SF standards. They operate a rather restaurant-pedestrian UNIC Phoenix Twin behind the bar to pull shots of Equator Estate Coffee. We’ve long been ambivalent about Equator Estate coffees served in a retail environment; the lack of quality controls at the customer delivery end have produced an inordinate amount of underwhelming cups, given their industry regard. But in this restaurant-like environment, it’s surprisingly decent — though not great.

The resulting shots have a thinner but healthy-looking darker brown crema. It has a limited body and not much sweetness, despite its rather short two-sip serving size. With a darker, heartier herbal flavor of cloves, there is limited brightness in the shot. Served in classic brown ACF cups.

The milk frothing here is dodgy at best, and they also offer coffee in metal French presses. But at least unlike their former Citizen Cupcake location, they’re not hinging their business on the health of a record store.

Read the review of Citizen Cake.

This café is something of a neighborhood favorite for its quirky atmosphere and ridiculously cheap (though not that great) coffee. Inside there’s found art everywhere — plus painted café tables, a couple of seats from movie theaters (with cup-holders), juicers on display, wine for $9 a bottle, and a few outdoor sidewalk café tables under parasols.

Using a two-group La Spaziale, they pull fuller shots that sit tall in a Lavazza-branded IPA cups. It has a medium-to-dark brown crema that runs a bit thin. And given the pour size, the flavor is not surprisingly a little watery as well. But the flavor of the cup is one of the limitations here: it’s more a mixture of mild pepper and a bit of water.

I asked the barista what beans they used, and he noted that they use the el cheapo America’s Best Coffee for espresso and the el cheapest (OK: la más barata) San Francisco Bay Coffee (available at Costco) for drip — but only after a long pause.

It’s hard to know whether the pause reflect that he couldn’t remember or if he was sheepish about the café’s choices. But what do you expect for $1 espresso? Perhaps it was appropriate that I had to reach the place on foot once my 38L Geary Express Muni bus transformed into a front-seat brawl, grounding the entire bus for a long while to take down police reports.

Read the review of Café Murano.

This chocolate café has been in business since November 2005. They sell a lot of chocolate bars up front (in sections labelled dark, milk, and surprises — such as chocolate with pepper), but they offer espresso and café service in the back — with seating among several weathered, painted wooden tables and chairs. There is an upstairs seating area as well.

The place smacks of a cocktail-party-conversation-fodder side project of some dot-com millionaire’s trophy wife/husband/partner: there’s little real chocolate merchandising, limited events, and little that distinguishes them from a chocolate retailer like Fog City News. But just so you know my biases, the general concept of a chocolate café doesn’t exactly work for me. There’s something hollow about walking up to buy a chocolate bar, sitting down at a wooden table to eat it, and packaging that as experience marketing. Fortunately, the espresso here is quite good and the place works more as a café than a chocolate one in specific.

Using a three-group La Marzocco Linea, they pull only double ristretto shots of Blue Bottle Coffee (you can feel the imprint of Blue Bottle’s James Freeman on this chain’s coffee supply, equipment, training, and offerings). The resulting shot is short, even for a doppio, and served with a good layer of spotted medium-to-dark-brown crema in wider-mouthed classic brown ACF cups.

While everything leading up to the final flavor gives you the impression of an excellent espresso, the resulting flavor is a little off; it has a bitter, root-like twang to its flavor. A cup like this should be capable of being much sweeter (or any sweetness for that matter), and any sweetness is lacking. (And yet I like my chocolate dark and bittersweet for that matter.) They also have a dedicated Astra for milk frothing.

Despite the unmet potential in the cups they serve, the imprint of Blue Bottle comes through — making this one of the better places for espresso in the city.

Read the review.

This outlet of the L.A.-based chain is located on a busy Fillmore St. corner, lined with popular sidewalk café tables and parasols. Inside there are a dozen more tables and a lot of finished, wood grain surfaces — giving it the look of a cheaply remodeled kitchen. There’s even this raised platform in the back made of what looks like faux wooden crates. But the decór isn’t what creeps me out here…

Staffing the place are perky young, Burger-King-uniformed employees who look better suited for Disneyland than for making good coffee. This chain likely saves a bit of money given the skill level of their many entry-level hires. But to me, it’s a bit of an unsettling part of my coffee drinking experience here. I am guessing that this place may be frequented by many homesick Southern Californians who think this setup is quite natural.

They serve espresso with a crema that can vary from a good, even layer of medium brown to a thinner coating of lighter brown. It has a tarry/tobaccoy flavor despite its slightly ashy aroma. Good body and strong acidity from a Brasilia Portofino machine.

Read the updated review.

This casual, Latino owned and operated breakfast café has the interior look of a rustic hunting lodge — minus the moose heads. Outside there are a few tables and chairs along the sidewalk. But inside you’ll find an interior of wood and stone, a faux fireplace, chess players, chocolate “cornetti” (croissants), and even an occasional patron knitting.

The barista takes the necessary time with the pour from a three-group Rancilio — serving espresso with a dark brown, mottled crema. The crema is denser — with lipids suspended in it — and it avoids being too thin despite being stretched over a wider-brimmed cup. A rich, smooth flavor suggests spiced vanilla. Surprisingly good and definitely recommended.

Read the updated review.