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ROAST WITH THE MOST / A new generation of Bay Area coffee roasters pushes the perfect cup to the next level

Posted by TheShot on 14 May 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Local Brew, Restaurant Coffee, Roasting

Today the SF Chronicle posted an impressively long article on the state of quality coffee roasting in the Bay Area: ROAST WITH THE MOST / A new generation of Bay Area coffee roasters pushes the perfect cup to the next level. It’s a remarkable piece, given its breadth. It lightly touches on everything from the roasting process, roasting trends, more meticulate coffee sourcing, and restaurants taking notice in better quality coffee. It also includes interviews with a good number of quality coffee luminaries in the area — and not just the usual, overexposed suspects.

On the topic of overexposure, it’s also good to see focus on advancements in the quality of the coffee — and not just an emphasis on machinery (and their escalating price tags), which has been something of a media trend of late. Equipment advances such as the Clover brewer would be amount to little more than a curiously expensive robotics grad student project if not for the improvements in coffee sourcing, roasting, and freshness.

Today’s geography lesson: Rome is not a U.S. city

As much as Coffeeratings.com was born five years ago out of frustration with the lack of quality standards and their awareness in the Bay Area specialty coffee scene, we actually take a bit of exception with some of the suggestions in the article — for example, “While the Bay Area is considered the birthplace of premium coffee, many say the quality of its coffee has lagged behind that of other U.S. cities in the past 10 or 15 years.”

In the past few years the Bay Area has arguably established itself as a national coffee leader, second only to perhaps Portland and Seattle. (And even at that, Seattle and Portland — like SF — are equally rife with median-quality coffeehouses that make poor espresso.) But go back a decade ago, and the coffee quality in the great majority of other U.S. cities was hurting far worse than SF.

Only hipster dufuses who use the word “’spro” need apply

The article also unfortunately feeds this terrible misconception going around that better coffee can only come from a “new generation” of coffee professionals — an attitude that if you haven’t been making coffee for less than three years, you are irrelevant to good quality coffee today. Call it specialty coffee’s take on Jerry Rubin’s “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” (It’s also one of many reasons why we ridicule the term “Third Wave.” Although the phrase’s originators coined it more to describe coffee consumption rather than coffee purveyors, today it is most commonly used to describe the latter.)

But the media will always focus on the new. And what’s old often becomes new again. (See: siphon coffee.) We read stories that suggest single origin coffees will bring about the (greatly exaggerated) death of the blend, or that lighter roasts will universally trump all those “horrible, traditional darker roasts.” But we see each of these as consumer fads that are merely highlighting the less explored dimensions of the overall coffee enjoyment experience. When the novelty of the new wears off, single origin or blend, light or dark roast, there will always be something to be enjoyed in the full variety of experiences coffee has to offer.

Hawaii (Big Island) Coffee & Espresso

Posted by TheShot on 26 Apr 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Foreign Brew, Quality Issues, Restaurant Coffee

Before we start reviewing the espresso in India, it’s about time we wrap things up on our recent coffee excursion to Hawaii’s Big Island. Hawaii is the only coffee-growing state of the Union (as they say: sorry, Puerto Rico is a territory), which makes it a uniquely American place to both sample the local espresso and visit coffee farms. Hawaii also gives us the opportunity to bore you with vacation photos, which we will spread liberally throughout this post.

Scenery around Hawaii Volcanoes National Park The Halema'uma'u Crater, inside Kilauea Crater

Hawaii's Pu'u O'o Crater - hold your breath Lava meets the sea above Hawaii by helicopter

The last time we were on the Big Island, Hurricane Katrina was unfolding its tragedy around New Orleans and the Gulf Coast in 2005. While it made for riveting television news drama, things back in the mainland U.S. seem so far away from here that it might as well have been on the moon.

But what also gives you a sense of being on the moon are some of the locals. Besides the Polynesian and European immigrants to the area from hundreds of years ago, and besides the throngs of ankle-free tourists from the mainland, Hawaii seems to have attracted residents in the past few decades of some of the more…unusual mainland castoffs. Many haole Hawaiian residents look like contestants (refugees?) from 1970s game shows like “Matchgame ‘75” or “Password” who fled the set and used their meager winnings as down payments on run-down Hawaiian condos. (You can recognize them by their leathery, over-tanned, sea-turtle-like skin — sporting hairstyles not seen since the original “Brady Bunch” filmed on these islands.)

Hawaiian lava flows from a helicopter - note the trees for scale The expanse of South Big Island

Where the Coffee Grows on Trees

Hawaii may be famous for its Kona estate coffees, but the much wetter, eastern side of the Big Island is also home to many fertile, less famous coffee farms that grow Puna, Ku’a, and Hamakua estate coffees (read our post on the Hilo Coffee Mill). What’s interesting is to contrast the differences terroir brings to the coffee, and the Big Island has enough variations in terroir to make you feel you’re on a Hawaiian beach, on a cattle ranch in Montana Big Sky country, in an Australian Eucalyptus forest, in a tropical rain forest, or on Himalayan foothills — all within an hour’s drive of each other.

Coffee trees in bloom on Greenwell Farms Fike Farms coffee estate

On Kona's Greenwell Farms Name your Greenwell Farms poison...

Visiting a couple of Kona coffee farms in March (Greenwell Farms and Fike Farms Coffee), the coffee trees were just starting to bloom between seasons. But you still can tour the washing, drying, processing, and production facilities as harvested cherries are brought in as imports. At farms set up for the coffee tourists, such as Greenwell Farms, you can sample many variations of the local product.

Coffee trees on Greenwell Farms Coffee cherries collected at Greenwell Farms

Coffee cherry pulp from wet processing Coffee undergoing sun drying at Greenwell Farms

Where Espresso Best Comes from Overseas

The Big Island has a lot to rightfully be proud of in their local coffee. Sure, some critics will say that they grow a great product but not for the expense. But sustainable coffee growing with sustainable wages by the local cost of living standard doesn’t come at a discount.

The ubiquitous espresso beverage bug has not passed over these islands. Unfortunately, the local pride in Hawaiian beans has lead to many cafés serving Hawaiian-only espresso blends. This is like visiting Italy or Australia for their French press coffee — the reverse side of the argument we made against a singular approach of coffee appreciation through the Clover brewer.

French press Kona coffee menu at Merriman's in Waimea Merriman's in Waimea puts their Kona coffee selections on display

French press Kona coffee menu at Alan Wong's Hualalai Grille at the Four Seasons resort What's Hawaii without luaus and Samoan fire dancing?

Here’s where we like to break from theme: the best espresso in the area is typically made with anything but Hawaiian beans, such as the espresso at the Hilo Coffee Mill. (Similarly, I may have had Don Ho and Polynesian drum songs on my mp3 player, but I inevitably listened most to the ear-damaging sounds of “Luau” by Drive Like Jehu.)

But sampling some of the local stuff in a French press can be sublime. Many of the better Big Island restaurants offer a coffee menu featuring Kona beans from various local estates. A French press of Harens Old Tree Estate at Merriman’s, for example, was one of the best coffee experience I’ve ever had. Soon afterwards I had memorized the Hawaiian phrase, “E ‘olu’olu ‘oe, makemake au i ka kope“, or “Please, I’d like some coffee”.

We conclude with a sampling of a few Big Island espresso ratings:

Name Address City Espresso [info] Cafe [info] Overall [info]
Café Pesto 308 Kamehameha Ave. Hilo, HI 4.70 6.20 5.450
Hilo Coffee Mill 17-995 Volcano Hwy. Mountain View, HI 7.50 7.80 7.650
Island Lava Java 75-5799 Ali’i Dr, Suite A1 Kailua-Kona, HI 6.90 7.00 6.950
Waimea Coffee Company 65-1279 Kawaihae Rd. #114 Kamuela, HI 6.90 7.80 7.350

Hawaii's Waipi'o Valley Hawaiian sunset

All in the Lavazza Family

Posted by TheShot on 21 Apr 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Foreign Brew, Roasting

Yesterday’s Independent (London) interviewed Giuseppe Lavazza, the “crown prince of the world’s biggest independent coffee company” — a.k.a. Lavazza: The family that grew rich on the other black stuff - Business Analysis & Features, Business - The Independent.

The coffee story from Lavazza is that, at least in Italy, espresso is not a commodity but rather a true pleasure. “It’s like running a clothes boutique, where you choose certain clothes to give a look, philosophy and style. We do something similar with coffee,” said Mr. Lavazza. High concept indeed.

Like Starbucks, Lavazza has focused on building their brand through ownership more than partnership. Except in Lavazza’s case, they have funded these efforts by reinvesting profits rather than turning to the public stock market.

As noted in the article, Lavazza most recently acquired the Barista and Fresh & Honest coffee chains in India. Within a couple of weeks, yours truly will be in India to check out the local coffee scene for himself. We will be sure to report back.

Trip Report: Hilo Coffee Mill (Mountain View, HI)

Posted by TheShot on 03 Apr 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Foreign Brew, Machine

This coffee farm specializes in the under-appreciated (next to Kona) Hawaiian coffees on the East side of the Big Island (Puna, Ku’a, Hamakua) as well as Kona and coffee from the other islands (Maui Moka, Oahu Waialua, Kauai). They take in beans from many local farms for roasting or selling as greens, and they’re at the heart of a modern revival of East Hawaii beans.

In the late 1800s, some 6,000 acres of East Hawaiian rain forest were used to grow coffee until more profitable sugar cane took over at the turn of the 20th century. But since the last of the Big Island sugar plantations closed in the mid-1990s, East Hawaii coffee has been making a comeback.

The Hilo Coffee Mill grounds Hilo Coffee Mill's Deidrich roasters

In talking and sampling with the barista on duty (and Hilo Coffee Mill co-founder), Jeanette Baysa, we learned how nearby Puna coffees are generally less acidic than their world-famous Kona counterparts (also, FWIW, Hilo Coffee Mill only sells estate Kona). And given that the Hilo side of the island receives up to 300 inches of annual rainfall versus Kona’s typical 10 inches, there’s often a challenge in drying the coffee.

They have two 30-lb Diedrich roasters on site for roasting — choosing the Idaho-based manufacturer for a greater availability of parts and the ability to get equipment service “in a known language”.

Inside the Hilo Coffee Mill café Seating inside the Hilo Coffee Mill café

Also on site is a showroom that sports an espresso bar and a gift shop full of flavored coffees, teas, and the real deal in paper bags. Next to these rows of coffee and related accessories is a bar powered by a two-group Laranzato ME-2 machine. With it they produce some of the best espresso shots on the island.

It’s not just the fresh roasting, either. They spent nine months developing their espresso blend of 100% arabica beans from Central America, South America, and India (note: no Hawaiian coffees). The resulting shot has a darker brown, even crema that’s just a touch thin. Served tall in Laranzato-logo cups; it’s too tall, but yet it’s not overextracted. It has a pungent aroma and a more rounded and pungent flavor of a good espresso blend.

Read the review of Hilo Coffee Mill.

Hilo Coffee Mill's Laranzato The Hilo Coffee Mill espresso

Trip Report: Waimea Coffee Company (Waimea, HI)

Posted by TheShot on 24 Mar 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Foreign Brew

In a red-painted colonial village center, Parker Square, next to the Waimea General Store, this café offers coffee and lunch items with an exceedingly laid-back, friendly staff. They have a few outdoor café tables for two in front and several indoor tables. And like any good coffee place on the Big Island, they offer French press specials of some of the island’s finest Kona and other coffees — plus some rather amazing coconut macaroons.

The Waimea Coffee Company gets their coffee from local estates who roast — or from Hilo Coffee Mill on the east side of the island (who themselves aggregate from local estates). But for their espresso, they offered a Hawaiian-only blend from nearby boutique roaster, Cass Coffee of Hilo.

This is typical of the coffee conundrum the Big Island represents: it grows some excellent (and highly priced) coffees, but much of it isn’t suitable for making a decent espresso. Island coffees often do not shine under the darker roasts that typically round out the body and the rest of the flavor profile of a solid espresso. But the stuff can be excellent in a French press or, in particular, as vacuum brewed (i.e., vac pot) coffee.

Entrance to the Waimea Coffee Company The Waimea Coffee Company menu

Using a two-group La Cimbali M30 Classic, the barista steps through some deliberately good tamping and thorough flushing with hot water. They pull espresso shots with a pale, even, slightly textured crema of a modest thickness. (The barista will drink the other half of a double shot if you order a single.)

The result is what you’d expect from an espresso made exclusively with Hawaiian beans: very bright and little body, heavy on the high notes, but no bass. Flavorwise, it is pungent with a flavor of some tobacco and a not unpleasant touch of ash. Served in classic brown Nuova Point generic knock-off cups.

Chatting it up with the local, friendly barista, we apparently learned of a local Hawaiian who travels the Big Island “tasting espresso like a sommelier”. We obviously need to hook up with this guy, but never encountered him in our travels.

Read the review of Waimea Coffee Company.

Inside the Waimea Coffee Company, with La Cimbali in the corner The Waimea Coffee Company espresso

Duane Sorenson of Portland’s Stumptown: Coffee’s benevolent Mr. Bean

Posted by TheShot on 23 Mar 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Fair Trade, Foreign Brew

Tacoma’s The News Tribune published an unusually lengthy bio piece today on Stumptown Coffee Roasters owner and founder, Duane Sorenson: Coffee’s benevolent Mr. Bean | TheNewsTribune.com | Tacoma, WA. One of the big, early supporters of SF’s Ritual Coffee Roasters, Duane is quite a famous character in the industry.

Among many other things, the article mentions how he tends to recruit barista “stereotypes” in Portland (and beyond), how he provides his employees with health care and bus rides to the latest Slayer gig (though he’s an even bigger fan of AC/DC), how he works directly with coffee farmers (Direct Trade) rather than through certification middlemen such as Fair Trade, and even a little of the controversy surrounding Stumptown’s opening in Seattle last year.

You know, I don’t think I’ll be able to listen to the song “Raining Blood” quite the same way again…

Duane Sorenson of Portland's Stumptown Coffee at the 2006 WRBC

Hawaii won’t ban genetic coffee

Posted by TheShot on 07 Mar 2008 | Filed under: Beans

Today’s post comes to you from the Big Island of Hawaiʻi — home of Kona coffee. A local story here about genetically modified coffee in Hawaiʻi apparently has gone national: Hawaii won’t ban genetic coffee - USATODAY.com.

I’ve been on Hawaiʻi for the past few days, drinking up the good local Kona as filter coffee and scratching my head over the tendency for places to offer Kona and pure Hawaiian Island espresso. As we mentioned in our last post, some coffee is made for filter or vacuum brewing, and some is made for espresso. Kona coffee, with its delicate floral and fruit tones, is not meant for espresso — you lose the high-end of its range in the brewing process (and thus eliminate much of what makes it special or unique), and there isn’t enough body or flavor depth at the low end to carry the cup. But more on that in a future post.

The issue here in the news today regards genetically modified coffee. One group of interested parties wants to harvest genetically modified coffee on Oʻahu that ‘naturally’ grows decaffeinated. A good number of Kona growers, many of them rightfully still angry over Michael Norton’s massive Kona fraud scheme of the 1990s, don’t want the specter of ‘frankencoffee’ to tarnish their hard-fought brand image.

Of course, what none of these growers are willing to admit is that all the coffee in Hawaiʻi is an invasive species, brought in from overseas bean stocks and selected for their own natural genetic modification on the islands. Not that we’re in favor of genetically modified foods at CoffeeRatings.com, but many demonize the stuff, copping the purity argument, without acknowledging that the evolution of humans, animals, plants, and everything in between is an impure story of continental migration, cross-fertilization, and genetic modification.

As much as I have come to appreciate and respect Hawaii’s “indigenous” people and culture, the Polynesians who first settled here some 1,500 years ago were themselves invaders — not entirely different from the overweight, Hawaiian-shirt-and-flip-flops-wearing tourists who come off the plane in search of Mai Tais today. Every time I read something about preserving and protecting the unspoiled, native kamaʻāina Hawaiian culture from the foreign haole influences, I have to wonder if they’re a bit pupule (crazy). When someone cries “foul” about protecting the purity of what once was in the face of change, whether it’s genetically modified coffee in Hawaiʻi or immigration in America, what constitutes “pure” is always a matter of perspective.

How the Clover is just one more among many ways to think about coffee

Posted by TheShot on 05 Mar 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Consumer Trends, Machine

A bit slow out of the gate (by a year), Slate magazine filed this article on the Clover brewer, naturally focusing on the device’s expense in the article’s title (”Could a Coffee Maker Be Worth $11,000?”): How the Clover could change the way we think about coffee. - By Paul Adams - Slate Magazine. It’s a timely follow-up to our post yesterday.

When it comes to “bragging rights” over who has the bigger price tag (?!?), it’s interesting to compare the Clover brewer to James Freeman’s siphon bar. While the Clover brewer allows a lot of variables to be tweaked and tuned, as cited in the Slate article, it is largely the Northwest American digital engineer’s approach to better brewed coffee. Meanwhile the siphon bar is more like the artist’s approach to the same problem — with at least as many variables and nuances to adjust, but it’s more like the violinist who prefers to ignore the constraints of precision frets on their instrument to produce something they can more fully control in an analog world.

However, the author of the Slate article, Paul Adams, seems to miss the forest for the trees. A new brewer doesn’t change how we think about coffee. In fact, the only reason the Clover brewer exists is because the coffee itself is getting better; the nuanced flavors and aromas these higher-grade coffees produce won’t otherwise be lost on a precision machine like the Clover. But considering the origins of the beans and the roasting styles applied to them, not every coffee makes sense in a Clover — just as not every coffee makes sense as an espresso. A good microscope and a good telescope may both require precision optics to effectively refract light, but I wouldn’t use the same device to examine both the heavens and the structure of cells.

Advances in brewing equipment and technology are an important element to appreciating better coffee. But to focus exclusively on gadgetry and price tags as the only measure of good coffee is akin to purchasing a $4,000 Viking open burner range top to reheat canned soup. Or, in some cases, to roast a turkey.

You can’t get that from here: Caffè Mokabar

Posted by TheShot on 23 Feb 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Foreign Brew, Roasting

Occasionally this Web site can be the source of a real life story, and the story of Caffè Mokabar is a good one. For a little background, after a couple weeks of espresso research in Piemonte, Italy last October, we were most duly impressed with Caffè Mokabar among all the coffee roasters we encountered. So when I wanted an authentic regional import to serve with a Piemontese meal my wife was planning for the private supper club she operates in the city, I scoured the Internet for Caffè Mokabar…but to no avail. Back then (unlike now) they didn’t even have a public Web site. So I settled on a U.S. distributor of Caffè Costadoro that I found.

Not long after, a comment appeared on this blog from Andrea Bertolino, Marketing Manager at Caffè Mokabar and grandson of company founder, Ermenegildo Bertolino. We later connected over e-mail and exchanged our mutual appreciations for great coffee — and immediately discovered that we were both are rabid fans of the Torino-based soccer club, Juventus F.C.. (In fact, Andrea descends a long family line of season-ticket-holding juventini.)

My Caffè Mokabar contraband stash, courtesy of Roberto Cauda Second choice: Caffè Costadoro, as purchased via A&A Coffee Importers of Santa Ana, CA

No coffee hooliganism allowed

Andrea then introduced me over e-mail to his childhood friend from the ‘hood, Roberto Cauda, who was swinging by SF as part of his travels to a Las Vegas technical conference and could bring me a stash of Caffè Mokabar — which is unavailable in the U.S. However, there was one catch. Roberto was born an avid Torino F.C. fan, a granata, the cross-city rivals who would love nothing more than to see Juventus burnt to the ground in flames if not for the fact that both clubs have shared Torino’s Stadio Olimpico (i.e., 2006 Olympic Stadium) for the past couple of seasons (and for many, many years prior to 1990).

For a little context, a lifelong friendship with an inherent football (soccer) rivalry like that is not far off from the Montagues and Capulets of nearby Shakespearean Verona fame. It’s ten times worse than the 49ers vs. Raiders fan rivalry. And just before our October travels to Piemonte, Juventus played Torino at the Stadio Olimpico for the first leg of the season’s Derby della Mole — which was spectacularly won by Juventus with a last-minute thriller of a goal by David Trezeguet that had me jumping on my sofa at home (but also ruing that I didn’t schedule my trip for a week earlier so I could attend the match).

Last month I met Roberto at SF’s Grand Hyatt, and Roberto unloaded a kilo and a half of precious Caffè Mokabar on me. And upon seeing me in my Juventus jacket (of course I had to wear it, as much as Andrea wished he could have witnessed that), Roberto made it clear under no uncertain terms that no word nor photographic evidence of himself fraternizing with a guy in a Juventus jacket could ever come back to Italy. (So hopefully there are no granata reading this. ;) )

In all seriousness, Roberto was great company and I showed him around town for the evening. Being on neutral turf in America, perhaps it’s a bit like the truce between Israelis and Palestinians at Camp David. After all, I have good friends in Italy who are granata (”some of by best friends are…”). Though Roby shot me an e-mail upon returning to Malpensa afterwards: “P.S. you need a decent jacket :-)”.

Andrea on the left with his father, uncles, and grandfather -- all Juventus fans Caffè Mokabar beans

Now about the coffee…

Given my home use of Caffè Mokabar’s best arabica-only blend, did it compare favorably with my experiences in Piemonte? One rule of thumb we’ve long held is that virtually any locally roasted coffee can be superior to even the best imports — given the freshness difference. Illy is a perfect example of quality that is outstanding in Europe but yet doesn’t translate as well in the U.S. — once shipped for many days and thousands of miles to SF as an oxidizing roast. This no matter how much inert gas or other freshness measures the roasters might take.

However, we were surprised with how full its flavor was — and how much it held up, including its volume of crema it produces (the canary in the mine for coffee freshness), over time. Given that it was an all-arabica blend (as is Illy), it produced a surprising amount of crema and managed to have a rather well-rounded flavor profile. (The typical Italian coffee blend for espresso leverages some quality robusta for these merits.)

Andrea was quick to acknowledge Illy as a great quality product for anyone to aspire to. And he was quick to mention how it was worthy of its considerable expense — just as Mark Prince mentioned in comments here how Ernesto Illy would have wanted it that way. But price even aside, I’d take this stuff over Illy beans in a heartbeat every time.

The coffee holds up to a finer grind well. I tightened up my Mazzer Mini on it without the grinds “gumming up” together in the portafilter. Part of that is certainly due to the more modest roast depth of the blend. And as far as the flavor of the blend goes, that’s completely subjective — many people simply cannot stand the flavor of Lavazza, for example, regardless of freshness. But there are a few blends that really “wow” me in flavor even after the freshness fades, and this is one of them.

Caffè Mokabar needs a distributor in the U.S. — so if we don’t pick that job up ourselves, you’ll at least have us as customers. Because unfortunately we’re all out! A big thanks to Roberto, Andrea, and the Bertolino family for underwriting this post with great coffee carried thousands of miles to reach us. I’ll be thinking of them when the next Derby della Mole takes place this Tuesday.

Roberto Cauda, at the top of the BofA building after dropping off 'the package' The proof is in the cup: a Caffè Mokabar home espresso

Japanese consumer fad of the minute?: Newly harvested coffee beans attracting attentions

Posted by TheShot on 21 Feb 2008 | Filed under: Beans, Consumer Trends, Foreign Brew

Japanese consumer fads notoriously have about the same lifespan as mayflies — or a Rudi Giulliani presidential campaign, whichever comes shorter. However, here’s one we had not heard of before until seeing this in today’s The Daily Yomiuri: Newly harvested coffee beans attracting attentions : Arts Weekend : Features : DAILY YOMIURI ONLINE (The Daily Yomiuri).

Japanese coffee consumption habits are vastly different from Western ones. It’s not just street coffee in a can or the rare siphon bar either. Instant coffee is still rampant, and decaf doesn’t even exist here. For those with higher standards, they do have fashionable, pricey coffee bars called kissaten that ceremoniously select and grind fine beans for you … and then boil the living crap out of it. However, some of Japan’s coffee elites have the habit of buying up small packages of boutique beans from around the world, and this latest consumer trend suggests a growing preference for the “freshness” of early harvest beans.

Coffee cherries (and the beans they contain) are an annual crop — though there are exceptions of some growing regions having both a main crop and a fly crop (a smaller, interim crop between the prime harvests). The harvesting period for coffee depends on the region, climate, and, well, labor, and it can vary between three to six months (or year-round, as in the odd case of aged Indonesian coffees). While it’s not as critical as the freshness of roasted beans, green coffee bean freshness is important. But we haven’t heard much about the qualities of early harvest beans being that much fresher tasting than late harvest, as long as shipping supports lots as they are harvested. But, hey — at least it’s not shark fin soup or whale bacon.

Hopefully it ain't a 'bowel moment' [sic]

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