As Americans have ravaged through anything edible from the surface of the planet like a biblical plague of locusts, you can’t argue that we have become rather fat and bored. So as consumers, we have resorted to behaviors suggestive of infants who sit in their own mess sticking various things in their mouths until something maybe tastes good.

The band members of Morbid Angel were regrettably unable to make this photo shootPairing coffee with food comes to mind. Take cultures that have developed a pairing between local wines with regional food over many centuries, throw in the recent vogue for the wine analogy for coffee, and suddenly we can ignore centuries of coffee-growing cultures that have deliberately not paired their coffees with regional cuisine. If we’re going to pretend like we just invented decent coffee yesterday, why not go all out?

Which brings us to Tampa, Florida — home to its own biblical plagues (mostly flying insects in May) and America’s Death Metal capital. Although mentioned elsewhere before, over in Tampa they’re pairing their coffee with cheese: An unlikely pair: Cheese paired with coffee is a buzz for your taste buds | Daily Loaf. At least according to the local free weekly.

Personally, we like a nice Finca La Loma Colombia Caturra paired with Brillat Savarin and a little Morbid Angel on the stereo. Maybe it’s not as unique a pairing as nyethe, where a region in Indonesia laces cigarettes with coffee. (Thanks for the heads-up, Enrico.) But we’ll live like local pirates.