But I am wearing a lampshade for volunteering to take this job, I swear.

And commenter Peter did a very good job at dissecting your article, and you did a very deft job in (politely) waving him off. Granted we’re playing the name game here, but the gibraltar/cortado/piccolo latte is a stand-alone drink that deserves more respect than you’re giving it. I will concede that ceramic tastes slightly better than glass, and is better at heat retention, but a cortado feels better and less-awkwardly balanced in the hand, and in a certain way looks more aesthetically pleasing. That all falls into line with a better sensory experience. I’m not aware that anyone is “elevating” it to a higher standard, but they’re definitely talking about it. And I’d rather hear the word “gibraltar” before I hear the words “dry” or “foamy.”

…And just for the record of credibility, I’ve been professionally serving espresso for nigh on 9 years now.

Well, we certainly don’t discriminate around here.

That said, let’s get to the grave matters at hand…

A) Not sure where yer gettin’ “Italy is the end-all-be-all of coffee”. Just because a nation has a standard for their cappuccino proportions doesn’t imply said nation is the end-all-be-all of anything. Mississippi may have state academic standards for their schools, but that doesn’t prevent their students from being invariably ranked among the most miserable mouth-breathing cretins in the nation.

But perhaps this logic of “has a standard: therefore must be the end-all-be-all” conclusion is a product of the Mississippi state school system. In which case, you have our deepest sympathies.

B) Ceramic is better than glass. Heck, just for the thermal properties alone. If you don’t believe us, good luck burning up on atmospheric re-entry while flying that glass-bottomed Space Shuttle.

C) “Not-quite-cortado”, “faux cappuccino” — who really cares? Point is that this continent lacks a milk-with-espresso standard drink that doesn’t require PADI certification and a dive belt to find the coffee in all that milk. If we had that, the Gibraltar would be rather pointless. That is, beyond its current role as double secret handshake fodder for wannabe personal shoppers.

All seriousness aside, however, next time we’ll be sure to first check in with your dad whenever we have a discussion topic requiring an authority on coffee.

The Gibraltar is not a faux cappuccino. A much more accurate description would be that it’s a not-quite-cortado, a drink that my dad was drinking every morning in his neighborhood in Madrid fifty years ago out of glass.

Italy is not the end-all-be-all of coffee, the Gibraltar is not new nor is it a poor man’s cappuccino, insistence on ceramic over glass is pure snobbery, and the “intelligentsia” around here really need to broaden their horizons before assuming that they know the first thing about coffee. You clearly don’t.