Seattle’s Coffee Fest trade show ended yesterday. The Seattle Post-Intelligencer published an article announcing the winners of its “Millrock Free Pour Latte Art competition” (isn’t that a mouthful?): Artistic cup of joe brings home $5,000 prize.

Do this with milk foam and win a prize!Top honors and $5,000 of prize money went to Layla Emily Osberg of Vancouver, BC’s Blenz Coffeewhere I first discovered that the default “macchiato” can be colloquially defined as something far scarier than I ever imagined. (Second place for Draw Tippy the Turtle in milk foam” went to the award-winning Canadian barista, Colter Jones.)

Now I generally find it difficult to get excited about latte art — or even the US Barista Championship these days. However, the best suggestion for any kind of barista competition came from April Pollard, a finalist from Seattle’s Espresso Vivace with “real world” sensibilities about the spectacle. From the article:

She compared the event to a “beautiful baby” contest, and she added that a “real barista contest” would include having 10 customers in a line, one person being a jerk, something going wrong and a person a wanting a muffin while talking on a cell phone.

“They should make it like a normal day,” Pollard said.

Bravo, April. Now we’re talking. Oh, but wait — I first gotta take this call.