I came across a coffee-related press release yesterday (as I often do), and I truly resisted writing about it — hoping it would just go away unnoticed. But then the company behind it is based out of San Francisco, and the press release hit the Associated Press today: AP Wire | 01/11/2007 | Mysterious `Meth Coffee’ launches in San Francisco.

Why was I so reluctant? Because this product screams “crap coffee” disguised by an idiotic marketing gimmick. Thus my posting about it here would only encourage such idiotic behavior. Ultimately, the degree with which their goth-teen-targeted idiocy made me spew good coffee across the room in laughter outweighed any concerns over contributing to their publicity. So now I’m posting good old-fashioned ridicule for the ridiculous.

Meth Coffee unveils their marketing strategy, honed from Internet research

Now it’s no secret that I’ve been ranting a lot lately about how coffee lovers are equated with caffeine addicts — in ways where we wouldn’t presume that a wine aficionado is naturally an alcoholic. (The hideous wine analogy rears its ugly head yet again!) But come on… “Meth Coffee”?! I just read today that bath soap qualifies as an instrument of caffeine delivery: A New Type of Java Jolt: Caffeinated Soap. Is the Dove Unscented Crack Beauty Bar up next for a little Fight Club-like marketing?

Please. Try again. Next time like you mean it.

UPDATE: January 12, 2007
One press release later, and now Tully’s Coffee lays claim to the very same yerba maté additive that Meth Coffee says gives their brew that special caffeinated crank. Yet here, Tully’s takes the “healthy energy” approach with the same substance, making it sound like a fresh-scented bar of Irish Spring by comparison: Tully’s Coffee Puts Focus On “Healthy Energy”; Adds Yerba Maté To Menu :: News :: Natural and Nutritional Products Industry Center.

Apparently one man’s meth is another man’s rainforest-grown, immune-system-boosting herbal medicine to complement his yoga sessions.