OK — it’s only Tuesday, and I have already found the winner for the most imbecilic coffee-related news item of the week.
So what do you do if you’re a coffee marketer desperate for an angle? How about selling coffee with those yellow rubber LIVESTRONG wristbands? Nah — not trendy enough. OK, how about a reality TV show about our coffee? Too expensive. Hey — all the media is talking about “blogging,” whatever that is. That’s the hot thing now. So let’s sell coffee specifically for bloggers!
I dare you to read a few lines from this press release and keep from soiling yourself from laughing so hard:
Boca Java, the premier, direct-to-consumer gourmet coffee company that fresh roasts-to-order, today launched Bloggers Blends, one of the first product lines designed specifically for the rapidly expanding blogger universe. Boca Java’s new products, along with the company’s launch of a new blogger-specific website, www.BloggersFuel.com, will, for the first time, directly target this community as a consumer demographic and enable bloggers to purchase, create and name new coffee blends in the product line.
Now only if I had some diaper wipes designed specifically for the rapidly expanding blogger universe…
You might think that this promotion could have at least cynically achieved one thing on the marketing front: getting bloggers’ e-mails on the subscriber lists for their spam sales newsletter. But even that, after a brief handful of occasional sales e-mails, was handled half-heartedly and eventually died.
No matter, their Web site posted blogger reviews regardless. Either they were scared off by me (I honestly was going to give them a CoffeeRatings.com-style “fair & balanced” review) … or their marketing department has been busily creating virtual bloggers around the Internet to forge rave about their coffee. One has to wonder…
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