OK — it’s only Tuesday, and I have already found the winner for the most imbecilic coffee-related news item of the week.

So what do you do if you’re a coffee marketer desperate for an angle? How about selling coffee with those yellow rubber LIVESTRONG wristbands? Nah — not trendy enough. OK, how about a reality TV show about our coffee? Too expensive. Hey — all the media is talking about “blogging,” whatever that is. That’s the hot thing now. So let’s sell coffee specifically for bloggers!

Oh, if only I was joking: Boca Java Creates First Gourmet Coffee for Bloggers: Bloggers Blends; Bloggers Will Create the Next Coffee Blend for Boca Java at www.BloggersFuel.com

Oh sure, I may have had a personal Web page since 1994, but slap the “blogger” title on me and I am nudge-nudge-wink-wink in the new coffee achievers generation.

I dare you to read a few lines from this press release and keep from soiling yourself from laughing so hard:

Boca Java, the premier, direct-to-consumer gourmet coffee company that fresh roasts-to-order, today launched Bloggers Blends, one of the first product lines designed specifically for the rapidly expanding blogger universe. Boca Java’s new products, along with the company’s launch of a new blogger-specific website, www.BloggersFuel.com, will, for the first time, directly target this community as a consumer demographic and enable bloggers to purchase, create and name new coffee blends in the product line.

Now only if I had some diaper wipes designed specifically for the rapidly expanding blogger universe…

UPDATE: Sept. 9. 2006
The untold story after this article was that I took the bait. I was so intrigued by how badly this might turn out that I even agreed to blog about the quality of their coffee here as required. But almost six months after signing up and being approved by their marketing department as an official Blogger Blends taster, not a single bean of coffee has shown up at my door. Today there are no longer any mentions that any beans will be coming whatsoever.

You might think that this promotion could have at least cynically achieved one thing on the marketing front: getting bloggers’ e-mails on the subscriber lists for their spam sales newsletter. But even that, after a brief handful of occasional sales e-mails, was handled half-heartedly and eventually died.

No matter, their Web site posted blogger reviews regardless. Either they were scared off by me (I honestly was going to give them a CoffeeRatings.com-style “fair & balanced” review) … or their marketing department has been busily creating virtual bloggers around the Internet to forge rave about their coffee. One has to wonder…

UPDATE: Oct. 6, 2008
It just goes to show… a bad idea with a little spit polish can be exhumed two years later by people naïve enough to expect a different outcome: Joffrey’s Introduces “Coffee 2.0” for Bloggers; Free Brew for Mashable Readers – Mashable.